| Having spent two weeks in Cabo San Lucas, Baja | | | | the protection those cabs afford. I then spent the |
| Mexico I have a much better view of what | | | | next hour trying to avoid my own death from |
| paradise is and what it is not. I have been going | | | | morons coming the other way as well. |
| down there for the last 6 years, twice a year but | | | | Their driving speaks to me of their culture, a |
| never for more than 7 days. This 14 day | | | | macho outlook with pride above all, and intelligence |
| extravaganza came after I had to sell long | | | | taking a back seat. The Agrigarian culture is not |
| positions to close them out for a loss and then | | | | ready for the civilized world of rules and regulation |
| watched the stock market go to new highs in | | | | and having been in an accident here in Las Vegas |
| October, a month always known for being the | | | | with a 16 year-old Mexican boy running a stop |
| worst month for stock prices in the entire year, | | | | sign with no insurance, I now understand why it |
| followed only by the month of September. I had | | | | happened and can only wonder when their |
| only been waiting all year for this move, but I | | | | government begins to train their people to use |
| digress. | | | | their cars as vehicles not weapons of machismic |
| I always thought that I would retire in Mexico, it's | | | | behavior. The apex of my experience was when |
| slow pace and charming people I envied or so I | | | | I had to make a "K" turn as taxis and local cars |
| thought. Now having more time to delve into the | | | | blocked a street and in attempting to turn around |
| culture, to spend more time driving for instance, | | | | I was swarmed with taxis on both sides, all who |
| allowed me a new perspective. Mexicans do not | | | | saw what I was doing and were attempting to |
| have rules of the road when they drive. They | | | | block me for absolutely no reason. I rolled the |
| pay no attention to divider lines, no passing zones, | | | | window down and started screaming assholes in |
| speed limits, turn signals, right of ways, dangerous | | | | Spanish while jamming the car in reverse, |
| curves, stop signs, lights, and any other legality | | | | posturing as if I would smash their mode of living |
| that I, a citizen of Estado Unidos, would be pulled | | | | to bits, coming within inches of their taxis to force |
| over and would have to fork over forty to fifty | | | | them to stop for a millisecond, while I yanked the |
| dollars to pay off the local cops at their request | | | | wheel and bulleted out of there before it got way |
| of course, amigo. Badges? They don't need no | | | | too violent for such a small incident. I had enough |
| stinkin' badges! | | | | for any vacation and for the first time began to |
| There isn't one vehicle that doesn't have damage | | | | look forward to coming back home. |
| to their bumpers, doors, fenders, windows, or any | | | | What was charming was now an inconvenience |
| other part of their vehicle. They drive like they | | | | and the slow pace and constant stealing of |
| are in a bullring, taunting you by using their car as | | | | change that I used to not care about, began to |
| a cape, their machisimo brandished like a sword | | | | piss me off. Now I was living here, not just |
| putting their lives and their children's lives in | | | | admiring the view, and I didn't think the gas |
| constant danger. Insane madness permeates their | | | | attendant stealing a few bucks with the lack of |
| every move and only a more insane display of | | | | pumping the correct amount was a quaint custom |
| madness will back them off, one that would put | | | | anymore. The incessant badgering by men, |
| you in harm's way and only a fool would attempt. | | | | women, and children for sales of silver, dolls, |
| My old adage if they're behind you, they can't hurt | | | | scarves, gum, and timeshares was now |
| you didn't apply as they were like horseflys with a | | | | overbearing. The chips and salsa had run their |
| mission to bite you, New Jersey green | | | | course and Monty struck with a forceful blow. |
| heads-never giving a fucking inch. They had no | | | | Enough of paradise, give me an Arby's, a clean |
| fear, the fools, and they would run over their | | | | restaurant, a television whose channels stayed the |
| own people rather than show kindness on the | | | | same for more than 48 hours, a pool that wasn't |
| road. Everyone was the bull and they take on bull | | | | heated to 102 degrees in the 97 degree weather. |
| with mucho gusto. On the road out of town to | | | | Give me my home, my own culture, my discount |
| Todos Santos I witnessed a head-on between | | | | supermarket card, my ATM spitting out dollars |
| two tractor trailers at high speed. There was | | | | not pesos, cars with pollution controls and |
| nothing left but scrap metal. This on a two lane | | | | brakes-HASTA LA VISTA BABY!! |
| treacherous road with no passing, no shoulders, | | | | THANK GOD FOR THE U.S. OF A. Thats all I can |
| and apparently no speed limits although I swear I | | | | say. I will still enjoy manchego cheese and |
| saw signs that showed 60 kilometers per hour on | | | | someday again chips and salsa, but for now the |
| the curves and 80 on the straightways. I slowed | | | | firehouse that was my ass is pain free and I can |
| and looked at the Mexican drivers in shock, rolled | | | | eat solid food again and I am grateful. Adios, |
| my window down and shouted "muy rapido es | | | | amigos! |
| bien, eh?" They looked down in shame as they | | | | Ole! |
| should have. They avoided death only because of | | | | |