| Having spent two weeks in Cabo San | | | | death only because of the protection |
| Lucas, Baja Mexico I have a much better | | | | those cabs afford. I then spent the |
| view of what paradise is and what it is | | | | next hour trying to avoid my own death |
| not. I have been going down there for | | | | from morons coming the other way as |
| the last 6 years, twice a year but never | | | | well. |
| for more than 7 days. This 14 day | | | | Their driving speaks to me of their |
| extravaganza came after I had to sell | | | | culture, a macho outlook with pride |
| long positions to close them out for a | | | | above all, and intelligence taking a |
| loss and then watched the stock market | | | | back seat. The Agrigarian culture is |
| go to new highs in October, a month | | | | not ready for the civilized world of |
| always known for being the worst month | | | | rules and regulation and having been in |
| for stock prices in the entire year, | | | | an accident here in Las Vegas with a 16 |
| followed only by the month of September. | | | | year-old Mexican boy running a stop sign |
| I had only been waiting all year for | | | | with no insurance, I now understand why |
| this move, but I digress. | | | | it happened and can only wonder when |
| I always thought that I would retire in | | | | their government begins to train their |
| Mexico, it's slow pace and charming | | | | people to use their cars as vehicles not |
| people I envied or so I thought. Now | | | | weapons of machismic behavior. The apex |
| having more time to delve into the | | | | of my experience was when I had to make |
| culture, to spend more time driving for | | | | a "K" turn as taxis and local cars |
| instance, allowed me a new perspective. | | | | blocked a street and in attempting to |
| Mexicans do not have rules of the road | | | | turn around I was swarmed with taxis on |
| when they drive. They pay no attention | | | | both sides, all who saw what I was doing |
| to divider lines, no passing zones, | | | | and were attempting to block me for |
| speed limits, turn signals, right of | | | | absolutely no reason. I rolled the |
| ways, dangerous curves, stop signs, | | | | window down and started screaming |
| lights, and any other legality that I, a | | | | assholes in Spanish while jamming the |
| citizen of Estado Unidos, would be | | | | car in reverse, posturing as if I would |
| pulled over and would have to fork over | | | | smash their mode of living to bits, |
| forty to fifty dollars to pay off the | | | | coming within inches of their taxis to |
| local cops at their request of course, | | | | force them to stop for a millisecond, |
| amigo. Badges? They don't need no | | | | while I yanked the wheel and bulleted |
| stinkin' badges! | | | | out of there before it got way too |
| There isn't one vehicle that doesn't | | | | violent for such a small incident. I |
| have damage to their bumpers, doors, | | | | had enough for any vacation and for the |
| fenders, windows, or any other part of | | | | first time began to look forward to |
| their vehicle. They drive like they are | | | | coming back home. |
| in a bullring, taunting you by using | | | | What was charming was now an |
| their car as a cape, their machisimo | | | | inconvenience and the slow pace and |
| brandished like a sword putting their | | | | constant stealing of change that I used |
| lives and their children's lives in | | | | to not care about, began to piss me off. |
| constant danger. Insane madness | | | | Now I was living here, not just |
| permeates their every move and only a | | | | admiring the view, and I didn't think |
| more insane display of madness will back | | | | the gas attendant stealing a few bucks |
| them off, one that would put you in | | | | with the lack of pumping the correct |
| harm's way and only a fool would | | | | amount was a quaint custom anymore. The |
| attempt. My old adage if they're behind | | | | incessant badgering by men, women, and |
| you, they can't hurt you didn't apply as | | | | children for sales of silver, dolls, |
| they were like horseflys with a mission | | | | scarves, gum, and timeshares was now |
| to bite you, New Jersey green | | | | overbearing. The chips and salsa had |
| heads-never giving a fucking inch. They | | | | run their course and Monty struck with a |
| had no fear, the fools, and they would | | | | forceful blow. Enough of paradise, give |
| run over their own people rather than | | | | me an Arby's, a clean restaurant, a |
| show kindness on the road. Everyone was | | | | television whose channels stayed the |
| the bull and they take on bull with | | | | same for more than 48 hours, a pool that |
| mucho gusto. On the road out of town to | | | | wasn't heated to 102 degrees in the 97 |
| Todos Santos I witnessed a head-on | | | | degree weather. Give me my home, my own |
| between two tractor trailers at high | | | | culture, my discount supermarket card, |
| speed. There was nothing left but scrap | | | | my ATM spitting out dollars not pesos, |
| metal. This on a two lane treacherous | | | | cars with pollution controls and |
| road with no passing, no shoulders, and | | | | brakes-HASTA LA VISTA BABY!! |
| apparently no speed limits although I | | | | THANK GOD FOR THE U.S. OF A. Thats all |
| swear I saw signs that showed 60 | | | | I can say. I will still enjoy manchego |
| kilometers per hour on the curves and 80 | | | | cheese and someday again chips and |
| on the straightways. I slowed and | | | | salsa, but for now the firehouse that |
| looked at the Mexican drivers in shock, | | | | was my ass is pain free and I can eat |
| rolled my window down and shouted "muy | | | | solid food again and I am grateful. |
| rapido es bien, eh?" They looked down in | | | | Adios, amigos! |
| shame as they should have. They avoided | | | | Ole! |