| Anticipatory grief - a feeling of loss before a | | | | going on. However, you may be selective about |
| death or dreaded event occurs - is a hard | | | | what you attend, leave early, and get a good |
| journey. Holidays make it even harder. At a time | | | | night's sleep. Balance a late night with a short nap |
| when you're supposed to feel happy and joyful, | | | | the next day.LIGHT YOUR WAY. Vanerbilt |
| you feel sad and anxious. You're on pins and | | | | University wellness experts say more people get |
| needles and wonder what will happen | | | | depressed during the holidays than at any other |
| next.Remember, your grief stems from love, and | | | | time. Some of these people have Seasonal |
| you may find comfort in that. Holidays don't erase | | | | Affective Disorder (SAD). If you live in a cold |
| your reasons for feeling sad and lonely, according | | | | climate and the days are short you may wish to |
| to the National Mental Health Association, and | | | | be evaluated for SAD. Phototherapy (intense |
| "there is room for these feelings to be present." | | | | lighting) is usualy recommended for those with |
| So accept your feelings and, if you feel like crying, | | | | SAD. Even if you don' have SAD well lit rooms will |
| go ahead and do it.Crying will help you to feel | | | | lift your spirits.EXERCISE. Daily physical activity is |
| better. Here are some other ways you can help | | | | a proven way to cope with stress. Walk around |
| yourself.BE REALISTIC. You don't have to create | | | | town or the local mall and look at holiday |
| a "perfect" holiday. Do you really need to knit | | | | decorations. Play catch with your kids or |
| sweaters for everyone? No. Do you really need | | | | grandkids. Bundle up and go cross country skiing. |
| to serve a six course meal? No. What you need | | | | A half hour of physical activity per day helps to |
| to do is set realistic goals, get organized, and pace | | | | chase the blues away.BE CONCILATORY. |
| yourself. Rather than focusing on one day, the | | | | According to family tensions may flare during the |
| National Mental Health Association recommends | | | | holidays if members are "thrust together for |
| focusing on "a season of holiday sentiment."ASK | | | | several days." Holidays aren't the time to settle |
| FOR HELP. You don't need to do everything | | | | family disputes, they're a time for concilatory and |
| yourself. Family members and friends will be glad | | | | kind behavior. Discuss family grievances at a later |
| to help with planning, decorating, and cooking. One | | | | date.HELP OTHERS. Holidays are associated with |
| family member could bring a traditional dish, such | | | | families and togetherness according to Jill |
| as pumpkin pie. Another family member could | | | | RachBeisel, MD, Director of Community Psychiatry |
| provide linens and launder them afterwards. Your | | | | at the University of Maryland. But, due to the |
| request for help makes others feel | | | | divorce rate and fragmented families, many don't |
| needed.BUDGET. Finances can cause stress at any | | | | have this kind of holiay experience. Still, you may |
| time, but they cause lots of stress during the | | | | connect with a substitute family by volunteering a |
| holidays. Set a budget for gifts, decorations, and | | | | a senior center, reading to shut-ins, or tutoring |
| entertaining. Staying within your budget will make | | | | children.MAKE NEW MEMORIES. The memories |
| you feel better about the holidays and yourself. | | | | you make during this holiday season may comfort |
| Your gifts don't have to be new. Holiays are a | | | | you in the future. Take digital photos of holiday |
| perfect time to pass along family possessions - a | | | | events and put them on a CD. Send copies of the |
| flower vase, historic photo, or beloved book. Stick | | | | CD to all family members. Every family has |
| a short note about the item in with your gift.EAT | | | | stories to tell and you may create new memories |
| RIGHT. Because nutrition affects brain chemistry, | | | | by tape recording some of these stories. You |
| you need to eat balanced meals during the | | | | may also videotape holiday events.SAVOR THE |
| holidays. Yummy as they look, pass up the candy | | | | MOMENT. Though you are sorrowful, you're alive, |
| and cookies that come your way. Choose lots of | | | | able to be with those you love and care about. |
| fruits and veggies from the buffet table and one | | | | Surround yourself with life: family members, dear |
| dessert. Keeping a supply of healthy snacks on | | | | friends, colorful flowers, a tail-wagging dog, and |
| hand will also help you to eat right.DRINK | | | | hobbies that make you happy. For every moment |
| MODERATELY. Alcohol makes the holiday blues | | | | of life - even the sorrowful ones - is a |
| worse, according to the National Mental Health | | | | miracle.Copyright 2005 by Harriet Hodgson. To |
| Association. Too much alcohol can cause you to | | | | learn more about her work go to Hodgson has |
| say things you'll regret later. If you drink alcohol, | | | | been a nonfiction writer for 27 years and is a |
| drink in moderation or skip it all together. Drink | | | | member of the Association of Health Care |
| sparkling cider, non-alcoholic punch, or flavored | | | | Journalists. Her 24th book, "Smiling Through Your |
| water instead of alcohol.GET ENOUGH SLEEP. | | | | Tears: Anticipating Grief," written with Lois Krahn, |
| You've probably thinking, "Yeah, right." But you | | | | MD, is available from The book is packed with |
| need sleep to survive the holidays. Getting enough | | | | Healing Steps - 114 in all - that lead readers to |
| sleep is hard to do with so many holiday events | | | | their own healing path. |